14. Proper Hydration

28 07 2010

Let’s get real.  You mothafuckas don’t drink 8 glasses of water a day.   Stop bullshittin.  You know grape drink don’t count, so don’t act like it does.  What’s that?  You’re busy?!!  Think about how busy Jay is, he owns more cars and homes then you’ve even been in.   Then consider he’s drinking all kinds of exotic liquors all the time, as well as pricey ass champagne and wine.  When is dude supposed to hydrate?  Plus, you didn’t even think about how much spitting he’s doing. I mean, yeah, that’s not exactly what he means by “spitting” but you’re dumb if you don’t think that shit dehydrates.  Jay probably only drinks fucking classy ass water too, straight from some mountain spring in the Arctic or some shit.  Like that shit from Waterboy (act like you ain’t seen Waterboy).  He can’t just run to the water fountain real quick between verses, that shit needs to be shipped in!  The logistics alone are enough to make someone sweat, which ain’t helping.

So what’s the solution?  Can’t stop drinking water, he needs to stay healthy to enjoy his baller ass existence.  So carry one of those nalgene bottles?  Nope, he has enough shit to carry around with his 4 wallets, two blackberrys (his and bleeks), his iphone, like 8 demo tapes people keep giving him, snacks n’ shit, etc.  No room for that shit.   He rocks european stuff, but he ain’t getting no man purse.  So he just makes his mans n’ ’em carry mad bottles.  The Jigga man is human and humans need water, that’s some PSA shit right there.  Preach.

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