10. DMX

24 04 2010

X almost counts as two problems.  I mean Jigga’s gotta worry about his well being as a friend, but he also has to worry about him wile’n out and robbing Jay.  You never know what that dude is gonna do.  He’s a fucking wild card.  Jay made beautiful music with X (Money, Cash, Hos), so he can’t abandon his homey.  Plus they’re both NY cats.  But, what the fuck is DMX doing?  Seriously.  Does anyone know?  I mean, he’s obviously barking, I know that…but where?  Imagine how stressful these questions are when the answer could be “your apartment”, or “jail, needing you to bail him out”.  How many dudes do you know who could equally be 1) in a church preaching, 2) pretending to be a federal officer, 3) making an album, or 4) completely blowing off a sold out concert.  Takes a rare man.  In the alphabet Z comes after X, but in real life it might be the opposite, so Jay watches his shit around Earl Simmons.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Advertisements




7. Turbulence

31 03 2010

Scenario: You’re up in the air, flier than the rest of ‘em, when all of a sudden the plane starts shaking and dipping low like Christina Milian.  They call that shit turbulence and it’s scary as hell.  Now it’s been established that Jay flies a fucking lot, let’s just say he’s mentioned it once or twice.  Well as rich as he is Jay stays flying the same sky we do and that sky is not always calm.  Take the amount of times you’ve been in turbulence in your life, now multiply that number by 100.  That’s how many times Jay has been in turbulence, THIS YEAR!  He may be better than you in almost every way but best believe he can’t fly without a plane either.

Plus you know Big Homey’s always playing pool and shit like that on his plane; hanging out with the pilot.  So, when he hits turbulence, he not only has to return to his seat but he also has to stop recording in his airborne studio, or some similarly baller activity.  That is not only scary, but singlehandedly delayed BP3.  It’s hard to record an album when you spend half your time commuting via air.

Now when you start to think the planes going down you probably start thinking about your girl and your life and everything you would leave behind if this was the one.  Well your girl ain’t Beyonce and your life ain’t Jay’s.  As sad as you get thinking about leaving them, imagine what goes through Mr. Carter’s head.  Dude went from bricks to billboards!!  Young’s got a lot to lose.

So next time you are rocking the turbulence, remember that Jay is in that shit all the time.  Dude still gets nervous, but you know he survives and you probably will too.  His Louis Vuitton parachute gives him a little bit of an edge, but still.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine