13. Retirement

23 06 2010

I think it’s pretty obvious already that Jay Z sucks at retirement.  Technically he’s 1 for 2 so far.  I mean he did give up slanging bricks, so I guess that’s kind of retirement.  Even though he said: “I don’t give a fuck if I sold one or one million but I think you should, because if I only sold one then out comes the hood”.  This basically means he was heading right back to the crack game if the whole rapping thing fell through.  But his retirement from rap didn’t last too long.  He hated that shit.

First of all when he was retired he had to find something to do with all the time he used to be in the booth.  Dude used to spend mad time in the booth.   What’s he supposed to do now?  Play xbox?!  Naw, he’s old, he hates that shit.  Play golf?!?  We already said he hates golf.  I mean basically the dude chilled on his yacht all day.  You ever been on a yacht without bottles OR models?  It’s fucking boring.  You can only do so many crossword puzzles before you get tired of that.  And don’t even think about naps.  Jay Z hates naps more than your three year old cousin.  When he found out that Nas doesn’t sleep, he vowed that he’d at least give up naps.  He couldn’t even hang out with Beyonce because she was out telling the world she needed a soldier and starring in The Pink Panther, among other retarded things.

The other reason he hated it was peeps were trying to act like they were the best in the game.  Jay Z didn’t retire his ears you dumb bastards!  Why you gotta talk shit to the champ when he’s out the game?  Dumb, very dumb.  So instead of staying retired he came back and continued to smash records ALL DAY.  Great!  Good luck catching him now.  Lil’ Wayne’s been rapping since he was 14 and he ain’t even half way there.  Shit’s weak.  So basically Jay’s got Florida on hold for now, maybe he’ll try again after 20 number one albums.

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