16. Charlie Sheen

4 03 2011

You guys ever read those Forbe’s lists about the richest rappers?  Maybe it was Fortune 500, who gives a shit, the point is Jay Z is always on it.  Now remember in like ’06 when he released the wackest Jay Z album of all time, Kingdom Come?  How did he still make the list!?  I’ll tell you how, smart ass investing.

You know what one of his best investments was?  Two and a motha fucking half Men.  That shit got Jigga paid son.  I’m talking, take 50’s vitamin water money and multiply that shit by 8 years.  That’s grown folk cash right there.

Well needless to say Shawn is not too happy about Charlie Sheen going batshit insane.  I mean first of all, how dare he come up with more marketable quotes than the wordsmith himself?  I mean Jay Z invented coming up with sweet ass phrases/lyrics that would become income generators for other individuals.  Just ask Cassidy, this blog, and other chumps who have sampled the greatest.  Now Chaz Sheen is cornering the market in quotables.  Dude has dropped ridiculous amounts of ridiculous.  It’s gnarly.

And second of all, as I mentioned, he’s fucking up Jigga’s 2.5 men nest egg.  How’s he going to provide for that big ass baby Beyonce will inevitably pop out?  I mean he’s obviously going to be fine, but that’s the difference between the best day care in the world and the best day care in Manhattan.  No knocking the city, but that kid won’t be able to learn soccer and other sweet ass euro shit in some baby joint in Tribeca.  You can forget about being an international chef, Baby Carter.

And finally, how dare Charles Sheen basically claim ownership of winning?  Damn son.  S dot can barely count his number one albums on his digits and this chump is going to claim victory?  Bullshit.  Before you think you invented winning, you better take a look at how quick you’ll get stomped the fuck out in Marcy.  Go back to Hot Shot’s movies you dummy.

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3 responses

4 03 2011
ZANGIEF

this is prob the only comment you will get, but he has 11 number one singles. that’s kinda important because he surpassed elvis in doing so. also manhattan is a borough, not an entire city in itself

4 03 2011
da author

1) digits include fingers and toes.
2) jay has 11 number one albums, not singles.
3) Manhattan is in fact a borough. Feels like a separate city though.

7 03 2011
Sandy Veejin

4) Three comments in total

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