15. Zombies

1 03 2011

Fact:  Jay-Z has conquered the living.  What type of people do you fear when you’re such a boss that no one can fuck with you?  The answer of course is undead people – zombies.

First of all, Jay heard that smart brains are the most delicious.  Well you know Jiggas smart as shit.  While you run around with the equivalent of spaghetti-o’s in your head, Jay has filet mignon.  He’s mad nervous son.

Why do you think he hung out with Beanie for so long?  I mean besides the tax benefits he also knew that Beans is a crack shot who could put a bullet in a zombie brain with the quickness.

Another thing is that zombies don’t give a shit about clever word play, which irritates Jay.  They don’t even try.  All his sick ass metaphors and dope verbalisms are worthless on the hater ass undead.

He’s also seen Dawn of the Dead like 50 times, which doesn’t help.   He didn’t pass the Zombie bar, but he knows a lil bit.  Enough to stay the fuck away from Zombies.

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