12. Taxes

12 06 2010

Jays been known to tax an ass or two, but one of his problems is definitely taxes.  Them IRS mothafuckers don’t play!  They got Capone!  The real one, not the rapper.  They even got Blade!  The IRS did what a shit ton of vampires couldn’t do.  Now is that some shit you want to play with?  C’mon Son! With mo’ money, comes mo’ taxes, so best believe Jay stays vigilant.  He’s got like 11 accountants.  Math dudes watching math dudes watching his cash, dudes.

You guys ever do your taxes?  I bet some of you think that shit is hard.  You got like two w-2’s and you’re shitting your pants over it.  Jay actually owns things!  Expensive things!  He must think he’s in Monopoly with all the Luxury tax he’s paying.  You know what bracket he’s in for income tax?  The kind that got hooked up by Bush son.  I believe the term is “stanky rich”.  Remember when your cousin Bo Bo got audited?  Dude owed like $2,000 in taxes.  Jay pays that on one piece of jewelry son.  IRS would be all over his shit if he didn’t pay.  In the words of X: “this is not a fucking game.”

Now when you’re mad rich you gotta do things to offset all the taxes you’re dropping each year.  I mean Jay’s paying enough to fund like three government departments, that’s guap!  That’s why he signed half the artists he did to Rocafella.  Beanie Sigel?  Freeway!?  Memph Bleek!!?  No disrespect but signing those guys is considered a charitable contribution to the arts.  Jay wrote that shit off.  Don’t play with the government maaaane.  Jigga don’t.

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2 responses

12 06 2010
JG

Plz keep writing these…I wanna know all 99 lol. Brilliant writing

1 03 2011
15. Zombies « The Enumerated Troubles of Jay-Z

[…] do you think he hung out with Beanie for so long?  I mean besides the tax benefits he also knew that Beans is a crack shot who could put a bullet in a zombie brain with the […]

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